Page 5 - LM Confidential Issue September 2014

LAUGH RESORT
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the “Chrysler Beagle”?
What do you call a mixed breed of Bulldog and Shihtzu?
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. “The bus driver insulted me,” she fumed.
The man sympathized with her and said, “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.”
“That’s a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey.”
Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and a man came up and flashed them. Two of them had a stroke. The other one couldn’t reach.
Carla Abellana: It’s about time Heart and Chiz settle down
Isa si Ismol Family star Carla Abellana sa mga kaibigan ni Heart na unang bumati sa kanila ni Senator Chiz sa kanilang engagement.
Ayon sa dalaga, ikinagulat man niya na ikakasal na ang pretty Startalk host, naniniwala naman ito na Heart deserves to be happy. Aniya,
“Congratulations ah.
Hindi ko ini-expect
pero I guess ano
parang it’s about time.
She deserves to be
happy ‘yung ganyan
so congratulations
sa kanila. Sobrang happy ako at ‘tsaka excited para sa kanilang dalawa.”
Nakaka-inspire rin daw ang istorya ng pag-iibigan ng power couple dahil dumaan sila sa butas ng karayom, pero pinili nilang dalawa na magsama at harapin ang lahat ng pagsubok.
“Siyempre hindi naman madali maging senador, hindi din madali maging artista. So ang daming pinagdaanan nung relationship nila, rollercoaster ride talaga. So the good thing about is talagang hindi nila iniwan ‘yung isa’t-isa. Talagang ano sila partners sila.”
Nakikita rin daw ni Carla na glowing si Heart with Senator Chiz, kaya ang mahihiling lang niya sa couple ay happiness for the rest of their lives together.
“Kasi nakikita ko kung gaano kasaya si Heart eh. I see how blooming, how glowing she is, how happy she is. So sana ipagpatuloy lang nila ‘yun. Sana maging ganun pa rin sila kasaya for the rest of their life. So happiness, joy ‘tsaka lots of love. ‘Yun lang wini-wish ko sa kanila,” saad ng aktres.
Honey Shot
Nineteen-year old Chloe is a PIDC Ms. Congeniality and Maria Clara titlist. Her favorite food is Palabok. She also plays the piano. Someday, she wants to be a magazine editor. We wish her all the luck in her endeavour.
Chloe Dumasal
SEPTEMBER 2014
L. M. Confidential
5