Page 5 - LM Confidential Issue December 2014

LAUGH RESORT
A guy goes to the Psychiatrist and tells him that he thinks he is a dog. The Psychiatrist says, “Hm, very interesting. Please lay yourself on the couch so we can further explore this problem” The guy replies “I’m not allowed on the couch”.
Two children were in a doctor’s waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing. “Why are you crying?” asked the
little boy.
“I’m here for a blood test, and
they’re going to cut my finger,” said the girl.
When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.
“Why are you crying?” asked the girl.
The boy looked at her worriedly and said, “I’m here for a urine test.”
A father was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.
The son was so overcome with grief that he didn’t remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said: YOU IDIOT -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN TUBE!
A well known cardiologist died, and an elaborate funeral was planned. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point one of the mourners burst into laughter. When confronted, he said, “I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral....... I’m a gynecologist.”
FAKE SIGNATURES BOLSTER REVILLA
Prosecutors Fail
Kathryn cuts album
Teen actress Kathryn Bernardo has joined the growing number of actors venturing into recording, including Enchong Dee, Maja Salvador, Anne Curtis and new EDM diva ADA, or Ai Ai delas Alas.
Her recently
launched eponymous
debut album is a
collection of sweet,
simple pop songs,
as well as revivals of
Sharon Cuneta’s 1978
monster hit “Mr. DJ”
and Heart Evangelista’s “Love Has Come My Way.” It also features original tracks like “Na Sa ’Yo Din Pala,” which is said to be a response to love team partner Daniel Padilla’s “Na Sa Iyo Na Ang Lahat.”
With the digital album set for a Nov. 30 online release and the physical CD dropping in stores on Dec. 5, Kathryn is already bracing herself for criticisms, admitting that her voice has certain limitations.
“Personally, alam ko naman na ’yung voice ko ay very sweet lang, very steady lang, hindi talaga ’yung super birit. Basta gusto ko lang ’yung easy-listening songs. So ’yung sa album, maririnig niyo na ayoko siyang pilitin kasi alam ko na hindi ako biritera. Ayaw ko siyang gawin na super bilis kasi alam kong hindi rin ako ganon,” she noted.
Aware that not everyone will appreciate her new endeavor, she instead puts her focus on what her fans like. “Basta ako, gusto kong mapasaya ’yung mga tao na gustong pakinggan ’yung songs. ’Yun lang,” she said.
One of Kathryn’s supporters is Daniel, of course. He is particularly impressed with “Na Sa ’Yo Din Pala.”
MANILA - The team of Special Prosecu- tors assigned to Sen. Ramon Bong Revil- la, Jr.’s case at the Sandiganbayan suffered yet another major setback.
Atty. Desiderio Pagui, a former Senior Document Examiner at the National Bu- reau of Investigation (NBI) and one of the Supreme Court’s recognized Hand- writing and Document Forensics experts in the country, assured the Court and its Justices that the signatures purportedly belonging to Sen. Revilla are absolutely and unquestionably forgeries.
Atty. Pagui belied the Prosecution’s as- sertions that the signatures appearing in the PDAF documents belong to Revilla, and said all these were fake.
One by one, he showed the Court how the signatures could not belong to Revilla, and how each one was copied and forged. His testimony further bolsters the admis- sion of Benhur Luy that he faked PDAF documents and forged the signatures of lawmakers.
This deals another major blow to the prosecution, who just recently had to con- tend with the admission of NBI witness Joey Narciso that he had to examine Ben-
hur Luy’s Hard Disk Drive twice af- ter he had no conclusions during the first examination.
It was only after he was given spe- cific instructions by his superior and the team of prosecutors on how he was to conduct the examination and whose names should be in the report was he able to make findings. He also admitted that his examination of the HDD was not thorough and insuffi- cient.
In addition, Narciso also admitted that he cannot vouch for the 100% integrity of the HDD and whether or
not it was manipulated before it came into his custody up to when it was presented in Court. It may be recalled that many of the files in Luy’s HDD were found to have been last saved in 2013 when Luy was already in the custody of the NBI, the DoJ, and the Witness Protection Program. Narciso could not also explain why the files in the HDD submitted to the Sen- ate were different from those submitted to the Sandiganbayan by the Ombudsman.
Meanwhile, none of the evidence pre- sented by the prosecution in its Offer of Evidence and admitted by the Sandigan- bayan showed Revilla’s involvement in the charges against him.
This is because the PDAF documents admitted have already been shown to be forged, and the HDD shown to have questionable integrity. None in the docu- ments from COA showed the senator’s participation and liability in the PDAF scam.
Revilla’s camp refused to comment on the developments but expressed optimism that the Court will appreciate the evi- dence in their favor towards the granting of bail in the soonest possible time.
DECEMBER 2014 L. M. Confidential
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