Page 5 - LM Confidential Issue April 2015

LAUGH RESORT
A married man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
The man not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, told the Italian woman he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. And If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. The Italian woman was skepti- cal but she agreed, she then asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back. And once he got the postcard he would then arrange for the child support to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. ‘Sweetie, she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today from Italy.’ ‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said.
The wife said ok and then watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written: Spa- ghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.
MISS UNIVERSE INTRODUCTION
Miss Hungary: Gutom ako, gutom ka, gutom tayong lahat HUNGARY!!
Miss Haiti: Seventy eight, seventy nine HAITI!!
Miss Kenya: Hindi sa’yo, hindi sa’kin.. KENYA!!
Miss Nepal: Hindi naman kausap, sabat ng sabat.. NEPAL!!
At syempre..
Miss Philippines: Mula sa lupaing mahal ang bigas at maraming mandurugas.. PILIPINAS!!
Jen attend ex’s wedding
PATRICK Garcia finally tied the knot with live-in partner Nicole “Nikka” Martinez last Saturday, March 21, at Blue Bay Leaf in
Parañaque, and ex-
GF Jennylyn Mercado
was a no show even
if she earlier signified
her intention to attend
the affair. But she sent
their love son, Alex Jazz, to be the ring bearer in his dad’s wedding. Patrick and Nikka’s own daughter, Chelsea, was the flower girl and she was also celebrating her first birthday on that day.
Someone close to Jennylyn says she cannot be blamed if she decided not to attend the affair. “Siyempre, moment ‘yun ni Patrick and naging misis niya,” says Jen’s friend. “Ayaw naman niyang makaagaw pa ng eksena from them kung sakaling pupunta siya roon, kaya ‘yung anak na lang nila ang pinapunta.”
Honestly, we think it’s a wise decision. No matter what people say, it’s not in good taste for a guy’s ex to attend his wedding to another woman. We’re sure they’ll just all feel uncomfortable. As for Patrick and Nikka, here’s our best wishes for a long and lasting marital life. Cheska Garcia, Patrick’s older sister who’s married to cager Doug Kramer, says she’s personally happy for Patrick as Nikka reformed him from his easygoing ways as a bachelor and brought him closer to the Lord.
Honey Shot
Thea, as she is called is graduating in IBT program in Brampton. She is aiming to complete a business program in university. She loves any desert that includes mangoes and bubble tea. Thea is very talented in digital art and traditional art, and loves to draw animè characters. She wants to be able to inspire and send positive messages through art. Thea is an honour student from grade school to present. Congratulations!
Andreanne Gracielle Aviso
APRIL 2015
L. M. Confidential
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